When Hobbies Feel Impossible: Parenting, Full-Time Work, and the Pressure to “Enjoy Life”

There’s a quiet struggle many parents know all too well: the sense that everyone else seems to have hobbies, passions, or creative projects — while you’re just trying to get through the day.

When you’re working full-time, raising children, running a household, and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, finding time for hobbies can feel almost laughable. And yet, despite the chaos, there’s often a nagging voice saying you should be doing more. You should have interests. You should be making time for fulfilment. You should be living a “balanced life”.

It’s no surprise, then, that many people start to feel guilty, inadequate, or worried that they’re “not enjoying their life properly”.

But here’s the truth — it’s perfectly OK if you don’t have hobbies right now. It’s OK if your hobbies are low-effort, inconsistent, or something you come back to in a different season of life. And it’s completely normal to feel stretched thin when you’re parenting and working at the same time.

The Myth of the “Well-Rounded Adult”

Modern culture has created a strange expectation: that to be a healthy, well-rounded adult, you should have a handful of hobbies you’re passionate about, practise regularly, and feel energised by.

But real life rarely looks like that — especially for parents.

After a long workday, cooking dinner, bath time, and cleaning up, the average parent often has just enough energy to flop on the sofa with a cup of tea, scroll on their phone, or watch something familiar on TV. That is a valid form of unwinding. Rest is not a failure.

Guilt Around Pleasure and Rest

Many parents describe feeling guilty if they take time for themselves. There’s this belief that every spare moment should be productive or child-centred.

But hobbies don’t need to be elaborate or time-consuming. A hobby can be:

• reading one page of a book before bed

• growing a single plant on the windowsill

• doing a puzzle a few times a week

• going for a short walk

• scribbling in a notebook

• listening to a podcast when you can

• rewatching the same comforting series

If it soothes your nervous system, gives you a moment of peace, or brings you a flicker of enjoyment — that counts.

Life Moves in Seasons

There will be phases where hobbies are easier — when children get older, work settles, or energy returns. And there will be times when hobbies shrink to something tiny or disappear altogether.

That doesn’t mean you’re failing at life; it means you’re responding to the demands of your current season.

Where EMDR Can Fit Into This Conversation

So how does EMDR come into this?

Many people seek EMDR therapy because they feel overwhelmed, burnt out, guilty, or disconnected from pleasure and rest. Sometimes there are deeper roots — past experiences of pressure, perfectionism, or feeling like they’re never doing enough.

EMDR can help by:

• easing the emotional load that makes small moments of rest feel “wrong”

• reducing the sense of guilt or fear around slowing down

• helping your nervous system settle so you can enjoy small, manageable hobbies

• creating space for self-compassion during busy phases of life

It’s not about suddenly giving you a long list of interests. It’s about helping you feel safe enough — internally — to enjoy whatever small pockets of life you do have.

You’re Not Missing Out — You’re Doing Your Best

If your hobby right now is surviving the week, drinking hot tea when you can, and taking a deep breath when the kitchen is finally quiet, that’s OK. Life doesn’t need constant enrichment to be meaningful.

Hobbies can wait. Joy can wait. Nothing is wrong with you if they’re not front and centre today.

You’re allowed slow seasons.
You’re allowed to rest.
You’re allowed to take life at the pace that works for you.

And when you’re ready — whether that’s now or years from now — the hobbies will still be there, waiting patiently.