Understanding Trauma: The Wound We Can’t Always See

When we think of trauma, we often imagine visible wounds — bruises, scars, or injuries that can be easily spotted and treated. But many of the deepest wounds we carry are the ones no one can see. Trauma is one of those quiet forces that shapes us from the inside out, influencing how we think, feel, and connect with others long after the original event has passed.

What Is Trauma, Really?

Trauma isn’t just about what happened — it’s about how it felt. It’s the emotional and psychological response to an event (or series of events) that overwhelms our ability to cope. This might be a single incident, like a car crash or assault, or long-term experiences such as childhood neglect, bullying, or living in an unsafe environment.

For some, trauma comes from experiences that don’t look “big enough” from the outside to cause deep pain. Yet trauma isn’t a competition — it’s a human reaction. What overwhelms one person may not affect another in the same way, and that’s perfectly valid.

The Body Remembers

Trauma doesn’t just live in the mind. It can leave its mark on the body too. The human nervous system is wired for survival — when we perceive danger, it flips into fight, flight, or freeze mode. But when trauma goes unresolved, the body can stay stuck in those protective states, long after the threat has gone.

This can show up as:

• Chronic tension or pain

• Fatigue or restlessness

• Difficulty sleeping

• Emotional numbness or hypervigilance

As trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk puts it, “the body keeps the score.” Healing often means reconnecting with both the body and the mind — learning that it’s safe to feel again.

The Subtle Ways Trauma Shapes Us

Trauma can quietly influence how we move through the world. It can affect relationships, self-esteem, and even career choices. Some people become hyper-independent, afraid to rely on others; others might feel constantly anxious or find it hard to trust.

It can also show up in patterns — repeating relationships or situations that echo the original wound, as if part of us is trying to find resolution.

Healing: A Gentle, Non-Linear Process

Healing from trauma isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about integrating what happened — allowing ourselves to feel, understand, and release what we’ve been holding onto.

Different paths work for different people:

• Therapy — from trauma-informed counselling to EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).

• Body-based practices — yoga, breathwork, somatic experiencing.

• Creative outlets — art, writing, music can help express what words cannot.

• Connection — safe relationships remind us that we’re not alone.

Healing takes time, patience, and compassion. It’s not a straight line; it’s a spiral — we revisit old wounds with new understanding, each time a little lighter.

A Note of Hope

If you’ve experienced trauma, it doesn’t define you. It’s a chapter, not the whole story. The human spirit is remarkably resilient. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending the pain never existed — it means learning to live fully again, with the wisdom and strength your experiences have given you.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply acknowledge: what happened was real, and it mattered. From there, the journey towards wholeness begins.

When you are ready check out my low cost self faced online course: www.laurenfletcher.uk/feel-better-fast